when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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