If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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