Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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