Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
