Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
