dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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