LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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