is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
