Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
