You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
