either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
