remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
