can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I could fuck to npr.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize