ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I understand Curling. That high.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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