so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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