Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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