i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
