only if we run a train.
done.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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