Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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