got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize