I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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