I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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