Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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