I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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