hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
