She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
