Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
where am i from again
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
