do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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