we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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