420 ftw
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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