The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
