are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
