so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
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You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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