Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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