She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize