Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
