and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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