She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to make out with him forever
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
