i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
