Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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