i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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