wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
