He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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