I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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