i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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