the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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