Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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