Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We got so high we made milksteak
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
