P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
