He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
