apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
