My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
