I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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